Life is not perfect so sometimes you end up being born in a wrong country
Yes dearies, that’s true. No matter in what you believe: god, science, energy – sometimes things just go wrong and you end up growing up in a place that should have never been your home. It’s a real disaster. You constantly thing that something is wrong and you don’t fit to the perfect family picture. The bubble everyone else is living in doesn’t seem to be your bubble, you struggle, you suffer but you don’t know what the hell is wrong with you. I will tell you – nothing! You were just one of those unlucky people that by mistake were born in a wrong place.
You feel sick, unhappy, out of the place? There is only one cure for this – travel! I understood that nothing is wrong with me only when I saw that there is completely different world out there. Living in a one place makes you see things only from one perspective. By traveling you give yourself a chance to see a bit wider and also decide, what is what you really care about, what you really want to do and who you, and not your parents, partner or priest, want to be.
You think about going for a trip or maybe even moving to another country but you are afraid of the unknown? Well, that’s normal. Doesn’t matter if you just go for a few months trip or you decided to study or start a new job abroad – you will always find things that will scare you and that will make you uncomfortable. And that’s good. You may think now that I’m some kind of crazy person that enjoy suffering but I can ensure you that I’m not. What I’m trying to say is that most of us don’t know their real potential and capabilities until they go into the unknown. Probably I would never discover my courage if I stayed in my cozy home in Poland. I would never get to know myself the way I do now.
I had to face many things – lack of money, family and friends, health issues…but guess what? I dealt with everything and now, more than ever, I’m sure that I’m a super woman! Ok, just kidding, I’m not a super woman but thanks to all those experiences I know I’m strong and I’m not afraid of dealing with everyday life surprises.
Wow, this one sounds rough huh? Well, I’m not trying to question who you are but I can tell you, that because we all live in a certain culture and society we subconsciously assume things about ourselves. It happens to everyone and believe me, there are no exceptions.
Realizing things about ourselves can be very painful, yet very relieving. When you are far away from home, dealing with different people and circumstances you start to see the world and yourself from different perspective. I could not imagine what my life would become If I haven’t decide to go travel. I was wrong about so many things – I pursued wrong carrier (not only first but master degree too!), I was in relationship with people that were not right for me at all and was chasing things that I thought will make me happy. And guess what? They didn’t! I’m stubborn like a donkey so I had to experience all those things on my own skin, I don’t regret it but I’m happy that thanks to living in other countries I got to know myself better and realized who I really am and what I want from life. I don’t think I could ever do it without traveling.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that “I’m running away” I could buy myself a round-the-world ticket. I’m serious! People constantly ask my why I’m running away from the “real life”, why I can’t settle down in one place, find a stable job, finally find a husband, build the house and live happy ever after. My answer is always the same: “I’m not running away, I’m running towards! I’m running towards new experiences, new places, new people. I’m running towards adventures. I’m not traveling to avoid the life, I’m traveling to live my life! And if you still see it as running away then OK, I run away from your idea of life, from your idea of the “real” world. Because for me, forgive me for that, living miserable life and not doing anything about that is simply insane.
The beautiful idea of everyone following the same life pattern to organize the society is simply not working. People think that I’m crazy by living this way but honestly I think that they are crazy. Don’t understand me wrong, I know that many people live their stable and happy life and it’s awesome! I’m referring to people, that are miserable with their lives but they will never do anything about that. I’m sure that each one of us knows at least few of those. Traveling is not for everyone as living according to the society model.
Few days ago my five years old nice asked me:
– “Auntie, where do you live now?
– Without thinking I’ve answered: “I don’t live anywhere, I’m homeless right now”
– “What, you don’t have home? Where do you keep your stuff? Where do you sleep? You are not going back to Israel?”
– “Not for now sweetheart, I’m staying at yours and my parents for a while”
She looked very troubled and confused. At night, I heard her asking my sister : “What’s gonna happen with auntie, she doesn’t have a home, where she’s
gonna live?” It was so hard for her to understand that someone has no one place called home. I think that not only children have a problem with
understanding this concept. My parents also don’t get the idea of me living in many places and not having only one place that I call home.
This conversation with my niece made me think about my current “being homeless” situation and I decided that I have to correct myself and explain this little creature that I’m not homeless and that I used the wrong word when I’ve tried to explain her what’s going on with me. Cliche again by my home is where my heart is.