They say that a successful blog post needs to have a great opening. The headline and the first paragraph are the key, they say. God forbid you use a wrong word or a boring title. Nobody gonna bother to read it and nobody gonna care. But the question is, does anyone care about anything anymore?
Does anyone genuinely care? Because I get the feeling that nobody cares about anything anymore. We have everything, yet we care about nothing. Things are easily replaceable and people…oh well, they are too. You can always swipe few more times and eventually you gonna get a match. Someone is gonna “like you”. Maybe in that moment you not gonna feel lonely. But deep inside you not gonna care about that either. Because why would you? Whatever or whoever it is you can replace it fast, maybe you gonna be sad for a few days or so after loosing it, but let’s be honest, it’s not gonna hurt you anymore. Not at all.
That’s the world we are living. And this makes me feel so lost. The world where nobody cares about nothing but their own ass is a cold and a lonely place. It’s so confusing that sometimes I question my own existence, I wonder, why I’m even here? Yes, I do have the most amazing friends in the world, I do have the family that supports me and that’s a lot, I know. But in the end of the day, you have to figure it out all by yourself, you have to find your own place and your own way, even best friends can’t do that for you.
How am I suppose to do that in a place where the smell of the indifference wakes me up every morning? I just want to love, and smile and shine my own light and more and more often I just hit a wall. A brick wall. Sometimes I’m so exhausted that I just want to quit. I want to scream: “can someone please stop this fast speed train, I want to get of!”. And then I take a deep breath…and then I take another…and then another…
As much as I love this world, as much as I cherish my life, all the people and all the live beings, it just came to the point where nothing feels real, and because of that I feel completely lost. All this figuring out stuff feels suddenly like climbing a Mount Everest. Trying to stay yourself in the society where everyone is expecting something from you, where everyone is playing the same game yet nobody understands the rules and more important the consequences is so hard to bare right now. And the feeling that after all nobody cares anyway….so what is the point I am asking?
Fast and easy gratification provided by all kind of social media is contributing to this unbearable for me at the moment situation. How easy it is to get lost in the virtual world where you can just pretend that you care. Others pretend they care too, so you can get your likes and comments and get lured by the illusion of having an actual connection with someone. But that’s just an illusion, its a one big fat lie that many, including me, is falling for. Everyone is lonely but nobody is capable of talking about it .
There are still those that crave a real connection with others, but most of the time those others are not able to give it. Nobody is available anymore and nobody cares. So everyone goes on with an illusion of virtual friends that suppose to care because they put likes and send funny pictures on WhatsaApp…in that case, they have to care, no? You were added to so many groups on WhatsApp and people tagged you on so many awesome pictures and you have oh so many friends and you are oh so super popular…
But do you ever feel lonely? Maybe you don’t but you sit every evening on the sofa alone, eating those illusions for dinner all by yourself, smoking joins and watching tv while being disturbed by notifications from Messenger or Tinder from time to time. You have friends, so many of them, probably hundreds or thousands not including followers on Twitter or Instagram and yet, you go to sleep alone wondering how would it be to hug a person and not a mobile phone. Or maybe you don’t even wonder anymore because that’s the only reality you now.
Walking zombies with phones are everywhere and I don’t know how but I became one of them. The only thing I ever wanted was to connect with others but I ended up being one of them – a glued to a phone monster. You can’t get the real thing through the screen of your phone. You can meet people and you can interact with others but the real thing only happen in the real world that seems to be fading away.
So because I can’t deal with it any longer I made a decision – I’m quitting all the social media for some time.
I feel like everything is falling aparat right now, like I don’t know where the right and the left is anymore, like it is the time to (again) go through some major changes and find the connection with myself and my real purpose. Not long ago I met a person that encouraged me to keep being myself and follow my intuition no matter what and when my computer broke I just took it as a sign from heaven to really chill with ‘oh so beautiful but not the real’ world. The computer got fixed for couple of days but then it turned out that it’s even more broken that I thought in the beginning (because things are rarely what they appear to be at the first sight…) and so I felt like I’m even more broken that I’m willing to admit.
So today, right night now to be exact, I start my social media sobriety. No WhatsApp, no Facebook, no Instagram…until I feel I’m connected with what really matters for me again. Only then I will be able to connect with the rest of the world without harming myself. So I’m moving to my offline thoughts. Welcome back silence, pen and paper and adios countless notifications, never ending conversations, sound of typing, browsing and net surfing. I honestly can’t stand it anymore. I really want to be connected to YOU and YOU and YOU but that’s not the way. At least not for me, not for now.
So I leave this very honest note here – in the world of countless blog posts, hoping that it can make some good. I leave it for you because maybe deep inside you feel the same, maybe you can relate to some parts of what I wrote, maybe you are also trying to connect, but you are hitting the brick wall over and over again…maybe you need this sobriety as much as I do.
Call me or send me an email, I will be super happy to hear from you.