Yesterday, while cleaning my old room in my parents’ house, I found my old diary. I started to thumb it through and I found a page where I wrote my New Year’s resolutions.
It wasn’t a regular New Year’s resolution because it didn’t mention things that I want for the next year but it was about things that I wish for myself for the rest of my life. Suddenly I remembered writing it but I couldn’t remember what I wrote there. I started to read it carefully and every single line made me more and more surprised.
I achieved 99% of what I desired back in 2008! I achieved things that seemed impossible for me in that time, things that seemed so unreal that were worth putting on “I wish one day” list. I’ve read it several times and I couldn’t believe my eyes – all my dreams came true!
I wanted to live in a place where the sun shines all year round, place where I can swim outdoors even in the winter, wear flip flops and place that I will love with all my heart. This dream came true when I moved to Barcelona and afterwards to Tel Aviv – those two places were perfect for me and I could enjoy all the things I ever wanted.
I wanted to have enough money to support myself and help my family and friends in case they need me. That times I was a poor student that always struggeled with money and the thought of being financially independent seemed really crazy. Now, I don’t have problems with money and although I can’t call myself rich I can afford many things that I wasn’t able to back then. It feels great 🙂
I wanted to travel. I wanted to travel far away and a lot. Right now, my whole life is a one big trip, I’ve lived in different countries and visited more places that I ever dreamt of. What’s more, I’m about to start the biggest trip of my life…the dream about travelling came true as well!
I wanted to have a job that I’ll love, a job that will give me satisfaction and that will pay well. And I do! I was thinking for a while about that point of my list because my current job is not connected to traveling or photography (that are my 2 big passions) BUT my job is flexible and allows me to travel and have the kind of life that I always wanted to. I always knew I’m not meant to work from 9-6 in the office 5 days a week, I never wanted to spend so much time doing one same thing – and I’m not. I can definitely say that I love my job because it gives me the freedom that I always wanted, freedom that makes me happy.
I wanted to be a strong woman, with high self-esteem, that loves and accepts herself and understands what’s going on in her head. Back then, I would be a pretty depressive person that saw everything in black. I didn’t really like anything about myself and I would constantly criticized myself. It’s not the case anymore! I’m a strong person and I do like myself, I’m far away from being perfect but I learnt to accept things that I can’t change and work on things that can make me better. This dream definitely came true and honestly, it was one of the biggest dreams I ever had. Thanks to the positive attitude a lot of great things happened in my life – I’m so glad I’ve managed to escape from that dark Joanna. Now things look more…pinkish 😉
I wanted to speak fluent English, Spanish and French. Well, I’ve never managed to study French but I speak decent Hebrew which is even bigger accomplishment for me. Another “done” from my to do list.
Apart of feeling good with who I’m I really wanted to feel good with the way I look. It was very hard because I always thought that I’m far away from being attractive and I didn’t feel comfortable with my look at all. I wished to feel good about myself and stop being ashamed of my imperfections. Well, I don’t frown when I see my reflection in the mirror anymore, another thing to be happy about.
I wanted to eat healthy and be a good cook. Well…you know this is that 1% of not accomplished things. I’ve never learnt how to cook and I don’t like it as much as I didn’t like it back then. What changed was my attitude towards it – I accepted that cooking is not my thing and I’m fine with that. I try to eat healthy and I always surround myself with people that can cook – it’s a win-win situation 😉 I also wished to be healthy and thanks God I’m.
I really wanted to be surrounded by good people and have great friends that will be there for me no matter what. That time I didn’t have many (one to be precise) and I was feeling lonely. Now, I can say that I have THE BEST friends in the entire world and they are one of the biggest blessings in my life. They are with me no matter what as I wished back then and they are my second family. I love them so much and I hope to be as supportive for them as they are for me.
The last but not least thing I wished for was a relationship based on love, respect and trust. I stopped for a while when reading it because I thought that I haven’t accomplished it yet and that it will be the only thing from my list that didn’t come true. But then I realized that it did, it was just not for me. I wished for some kind of relationship that I thought will be my dream relationship but it wasn’t. It came true but it wasn’t good for me but hey, lesson learned, next time I will wish for something slightly different 😉
Since yesterday I can’t stop thinking about my old diary. I still can’t believe that everything I wished for 6 years ago came true. EVERYTHING (not including cooking 😛 ). As simple or trivial those things might look for you believe me, they weren’t for me. If someone told me back then that I will be or have everything I ever wanted I would have a big problem believing that.
I consider myself very lucky and blessed by life person but I have to say that it took me also a lot of effort to get where I’m now. Some goals from my list, especially those that involved changing my attitude towards myself and life in general, were very hard to accomplish. Yet, here I’m, looking at that yellowish piece of paper and thinking: wow Joanna, you made it, keep being stubborn and go for what you love because you can do it 😉